Challenges of Sharing

Perhaps it is the weather!  Yesterday, I discovered the washing machine was broken.  But today was especially interesting.  I made a call to a friend who I have been waiting to see since the holidays and afterward went down stairs to organise their gifts.  And what do you think I found?  Someone had opened the big box of chocolates that was a gift for them.  

At first I thought I was seeing things.  Then I took off the cover and saw that the seal of the inside wrapping was still there.  I thought how strange that I had thought there was cellophane around the box. 

I replaced the cover again and then thought, “Wait a minute,”...and went back to check and yes, many of the chocolates that were individually sealed into plastic were pressed out and enjoyed.  I can’t believe anyone would do that! 

I looked around the table to see if somehow I had left an “eat me” sign on the box of chocolates.  No, no sign anywhere....just eaten chocolates.  No one asked.  No one even said thank you for the chocolates.  They are just gone!  They were a gift to me and were saved to be given to this family with children.

Washing Machine

Last night Adam called me after he saw the broken washing machine asking what had happened.  I told him I did not have a clue..I had discovered it early in the day and was really surprised and disappointed, not so much for the fact that it was broken and would need to now be repaired or replaced, but that someone would break something and not take responsibility for it.

As I struggled to fall asleep last night I thought of all the things that have been broken or destroyed or used without so much as a “would you mind if I borrowed something” question (and with nothing being replaced...just quietly swept under the carpet hoping I would never say anything or even discover these things).   Yentl and Jacqueline recently took initiative to see some things needed replacing and bought a few items for the house which was very thoughtful. 

Privacy, Pride, Peace and Possessions

Since I opened my home I have sacrificed my privacy, peace, my pride and many possessions in the spirit of trying to be kind and supportive to those who live here.  When Hunter left, the damages he left were significant, including the loss of irreplaceable personal items caught in the “jelly-wrestling flood” and having to have his room completely re-plastered and painted (thank you Adam for the cost-effective tradesman to accomplish this). 

Additionally, I have had to replace:

·         The vacuum cleaner twice

·         Three lovely ceramic lamps I liked and had for 20 years with not so much as a scratch on them

·         The toaster twice

·         The microwave

·         Many drinking, wine and Champagne glasses (Recently I was surprised to pull my hand from the plastic bag bin (that I was clearing out to take to the rubbish bin) with a huge cut from a broken and hidden Champagne glass.  I purchased a set of ten Champaigne and ten wine glasses about a year ago and see fewer than half of each are left -- even the new glasses provided by Jacqueline and Yentl I’m finding broken and hidden in the rubbish bins)

·         Linens – pillows, sheets, doonas and towels (Recently, I found a newly purchased cream Sheridan sheet that looked like it had been used to wipe up some spill and then hidden away.  It was thrown out before I could ask about it)

·         Cutlery - when I bought the new glasses I also bought new cutlery (The can opener survives but is broken so badly I am surprised anyone can still use it)

People have used many things with freedom.  Yet this freedom does not seem to be recognised, let alone appreciated.  I hate the idea of nagging...even asking is difficult for me.  I anticipated sharing a home would mean sharing responsibilities without rosters or "to do" lists and inspecting duties. 

I even wrote a blog to help anyone who was not certain of good ways to wash dishes and do the laundry without wasting electricity (the most costly of our utilities), gas (for heating up the water), water and cleaning products.

Free?

This was never meant to be a hostel.  A hostel would not freely provide the extra household items that are used by all, yet are additional expenses I have inherited, including:

·         Paper towels (which are used so freely we easily go through a roll or more in a week)

·         Toilet paper (anytime someone stays upstairs especially.  Until recently, I put rolls of paper in the downstairs bathrooms when needed, especially in the back bathroom, as it is also used by guests or workmen).

·         Dish soap (using more soap is not the key to washing dishes.  We average using half a litre a week (even watered down this is amazingly excessive.  Yet, the dishes are not always clean and I re-wash them rather than put dirty dishes in the cupboards and drawers!  The secret to washing the dishes to be clean and safe resides in other articles of this blog).

·         Dish cloths – Handi wipes (are thrown out rather than rinsed out – perhaps it seems easier, especially when we run out of paper towels)

·         Sponges and scrubbers (you know they last longer if you do not run the sharp blade of knives into the sponge or use them on hot items)

·         Laundry power (we seem to have many non-residents who treat this like a local Laundromat, with little thought of the wear and tear on the appliances, the extra water, electricity, laundry products and gas this takes)

·         Laundry additives and softners

·         Garbage bags (Appear to be used for many things other than just garbage.  They are often thrown out with almost nothing in them.  I know this because I am the one who consistently re-sorts the bins.  The recycle big is regularly filled with garbage and plastic bags that have to be pulled out and thrown into the garbage bin (this is one of my most unfavourite projects.  Many things are just tossed into the garbage bin without being in tied plastic bags.)

·         Hand soap             Teabags

·         Mayonnaise           Ketchup

·         Mustard                 Tuna fish

·         Sugar                     Batteries

·         Cooking oil            Light bulbs (thank you Brett for some of these)

·         Salad dressing        Various Spices

·         Flour                    

Any Suggestions?

Anyway, you may not have had time to read all this as everyone is so busy...funny, so am I.  Do not get me wrong...I do not mind sharing anything...just sometimes a bit of thoughtfulness for these efforts would be appreciated and replacing what you damage or at least admitting you are responsible would also be appreciated.  Sharing is about caring and ensuring the load is carried by all. 

Maybe this is sort of a “half-way house” between being a youth and being an adult.  I do not know.  Yet, I am growing discouraged by these ongoing challenges and wonder if anyone has suggestions as to how we could become a bit more considerate of each other and the "generosity of the house".  Please put your suggestions in the comments section of this blog or send me an email.  I’m feeling a bit tired right now.